A law recently proposed by County Legislator Carmen Gumina would make cyberbullying a crime in Monroe County, punishable by up to one year in jail or a $1,000 fine. According to University of Rochester bullying expert Katy Allen, however, kids often don’t understand the exposure and vulnerability that comes from posting on the Internet.
“I think cyberbullying is much more of an extension of inappropriate behaviors,” Allen said. “Kids feel very powerful sitting behind a cell phone or computer when the audience is not right in front of them.”
Allen has been helping educators reduce bullying and aggression in schools since 1995, when she first launched her company, Impact Training & Evaluation, Inc. She said cyberbullying evolved because kids have access to new tools — computers and the Internet — and aren’t always taught how to appropriately use them. Here are some of her tips on how parents can prevent and, if necessary, deal with cyberbullying.
1
Use the same Internet tools that your child uses. There are a lot of great web resources for parents to learn how to use and navigate through various social media sites, such as Facebook, MySpace and Twitter.
2
Give your kid a chance for amnesty. If your child is having problems, give him or her a chance to talk about it without fear of any kind of punishment or consequence. When you establish a relationship with your children — one that assures them that you are their ally and advocate — they will come and admit to you that they’ve made some bad choices.
3
Be a good listener and ask sensitive and thoughtful questions. Don’t be overreactive. As soon as parents overreact, kids shut down and stop telling you what’s going on in their lives.
4
Ask to see evidence of cyberbullying. If the hurtful interactions are taking place over the Internet or through cell phone text messages, e-mail or Instant Messages (IM), ask to see them and then make copies of the evidence.
5
Take a breather from the cell phone and computer. Encourage your child to shut off the cell phone for a day or take a break from the Internet. This is not meant to be a punishment, but rather a way to give your child a break, let the dust settle, get his/her emotions under control and think about what’s next.
A law recently proposed by County Legislator Carmen Gumina would make cyberbullying a crime in Monroe County, punishable by up to one year in jail or a $1,000 fine. According to University of Rochester bullying expert Katy Allen, however, kids often don’t understand the exposure and vulnerability that comes from posting on the Internet.
“I think cyberbullying is much more of an extension of inappropriate behaviors,” Allen said. “Kids feel very powerful sitting behind a cell phone or computer when the audience is not right in front of them.”
Allen has been helping educators reduce bullying and aggression in schools since 1995, when she first launched her company, Impact Training & Evaluation, Inc. She said cyberbullying evolved because kids have access to new tools — computers and the Internet — and aren’t always taught how to appropriately use them. Here are some of her tips on how parents can prevent and, if necessary, deal with cyberbullying.
1
Use the same Internet tools that your child uses. There are a lot of great web resources for parents to learn how to use and navigate through various social media sites, such as Facebook, MySpace and Twitter.
2
Give your kid a chance for amnesty. If your child is having problems, give him or her a chance to talk about it without fear of any kind of punishment or consequence. When you establish a relationship with your children — one that assures them that you are their ally and advocate — they will come and admit to you that they’ve made some bad choices.
3
Be a good listener and ask sensitive and thoughtful questions. Don’t be overreactive. As soon as parents overreact, kids shut down and stop telling you what’s going on in their lives.
4
Ask to see evidence of cyberbullying. If the hurtful interactions are taking place over the Internet or through cell phone text messages, e-mail or Instant Messages (IM), ask to see them and then make copies of the evidence.
5
Take a breather from the cell phone and computer. Encourage your child to shut off the cell phone for a day or take a break from the Internet. This is not meant to be a punishment, but rather a way to give your child a break, let the dust settle, get his/her emotions under control and think about what’s next.
